14 months Later

I still am trying to learn Korean, I started with Koreanclass101.com the week it started last year. It's a good thing for supplementing a real Korean language education, unfortunately I am not in a position to properly learn Korean due to the distance of the nearest school and a huge financial barrier. So one has to ask "why do you want to learn Korean anyway?", I get asked that question constantly when I speak to Koreans. And the only answer I can give is "I just want to", I have no "plan" I don't really know why. I like the language and I want to communicate in it.

So it's been over four years now that I have been trying to learn basically on my own. Jongyi my friend from Seoul has moved to Vancouver Canada, and we don't talk as much as we used to. When I first met Jongyi we would talk almost every night of the week. I worked late and when I got home he was online, and we would go over lessons and he would try to help me out, but we always got distracted by something or other and we would just settle in and chat in English until he got tired. Great for him because he wanted to improve his English, and I hope I helped him out. But bad for me.

I got so frustrated with my lack of progress a couple months ago and decided to just quit altogether, I was angry, discouraged and over all disapointed with myself. Honestly with the total time from start to now I should be fluent. But I haven't put in 4 years of effort, I have watched literaly hundreds of hours of dramas and movies. And that is my bigest distraction, those damn Korean love stories and comedies are my downfall.

I realized though without studying Korean my downtime is wasted. I didn't ocomplish anything in the month I stopped. So I came back and I to be honest still am falling into my bad habits, I found some Koreans here and asked if they could help me, but everyone of them is a proffesional, and are very busy with thier work. So no one can help me here I am back on my own. I have been trying to use what I do know at work and I realize that I can make sentences and can communicate, albeit poorly and I always think later what I could have said.

I had posted on youtube my speaking videos, but when I quit I erased them all, uninstalled a bunch of Korean software from internet sites, and deleted all my bookmarks. I know I get childish that way sometimes.

So I am trying again and I think I am close to something, I feel like there is a switch in my head just trying to flip on. I have felt that way for awhile though. Like it's all there it just isn't clicking yet, well some of it has started to and I just need to really try, try, try, it's all I have to do I know. But I have so many books and material I just don't know where to begin, and frankly I can't motivate myself to study. I have passion, but no work ethic.